he is not dead yet-monty python's "spamalot"

(spoken)

ROBIN

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

LANCE

Here's one.

DAD

I'm not dead!

ROBIN

Here, he says he's not dead!

LANCE

Yes he is.

DAD

I feel happy. I feel happy.

(breaks into song)

DAD

I am not dead yet

I can dance and i can sing

I am not dead yet

I can do the highland fling

I am not dead yet

No need to go to bed

No need to call the doctor

'Cos i'm not yet dead.

The four bodies on the cart quite suddenly sit up and sing.

MINSTRELS

He is not yet dead

That's what the geezer said

Oh, he's not yet dead

That man is off his head

He is not yet dead

Put him back in bed

Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead

Old man performs a lively dance but lance whacks him smartly on the head.

MINSTRELS

Well, now he's dead

You whacked him on the head

Sure now he's dead

It makes me just see red

You are such a brute

To murder that old coot

You homicidal bastard, now he's really dead.

Who is the knave who put him in his grave

And who needs to manage his anger?

LANCE

My name is Lancelot

I'm big and strong and hot

Occasionally I do

Some things that I should not.

ROBIN

I want to be a knight

But I don't like to fight

I'm rather scared I may

Just simply run away

LANCE

I'll be right with you

Robin through and through and through

So stick with me and I'll show you what to do

ROBIN

We'll remain good chums

You can teach me how to dance

BOTH

We're goin to enlist

ROBIN

I'm robin

LANCE

And I'm Lance

CHORUS

Oh we're off to war

Because we're not yet dead

We well all enlist

As the Knights that Arthur led

DAD

I am coming too

My name will be Sir Fred

I'll be your musician

Cos I'm not yet dead.

CHORUS

Oh we're not dead yet

To Camelot we go

To enlist instead

To try and earn some dough

And so although

We should have stayed in bed

We're going off to war

Because we're not yet dead

LANCE

To kill

I will

It gives me such a thrill

ROBIN

To sing

And dance

And keep an eye on Lance

ALL

We're going off to war

We'll have girlfriends by the score

DAD

We'll be shot by Michael Moore!

ALL

Because we're not yet dead!!