crushed by a crush

i love him....and i will never have him...















why is life so hard?





and why does it hate me sooooo much?

games of the heart

now your playing with me...

yes...it hurts...

but for you...

i continue.

anything, my one...

you may throw away my love...

it remains...

it exists...

it yearns for you...

begs for you...

cries out for you...

can you hear it?

do you shut it out?

these games you play...

should i take them to mean something?

or am i supposed to throw them away...

am i supposed to ignore them...

did you mean that?

if you did....

yes..

i am yours...

i always have been...

even in such circumstances...

yes...

i do belong to you, my one...

even if you see it in another light.

it shines so clearly through my eyes.

i need you...

i count the minutes that we are apart...

i despise them...

they keep me from you...

i need you...

so much...

thinking of you hurts....

these games you play...

i sadly believe them merely words...

no feeling.

why?

30

31

32

back and forth

tell me now, my one....

are there hidden meanings in these words you send?

are you afraid to be too obvious....

or do you wish to remain behind the silent shadow of covered love?

three words to me...

explain all three, my love...

letters create nothing but words...

and words are often misused....

like here and now....

where i hide, ashamed.....

to show my love for you...

it is deep...

but depth is nothing compared to your mysterious words...

do you know, my love....

i savor each and every one?

i keep them locked in my heart for rainy days...

i recite them in my sleep...

in my dreams...lies only you.

back and forth, my love, i remain...

33

34

STARING at hiM anD HEre's wHaT i gEt

he has blue eyes...



i finally looked at him long enough and deep enough to see....


to see his beautiful blue eyes...


but it was a quick glance....


and my eyes decieve me often....


so if i did not see right....


then his blue eyes, imprisoned in my soul....


they will cease to exhist in this world....


































i am so lost......

the countdown

okay, so unlike rochwen, i'm flippin' excited about my flippin' birthday!!!! i'ma gonna be sweet sixteen!!!!!!!! so, i have devoted myself to creating a sort of countdown....

where i count down....

the days....

that i have left....

before my birthday....

is here...

so, since it does happen to be the 11th of july

(hence the 7/11 thing...hence the oh thank heaven naming of this site)

i, as of today, have 35 days left.

so...the blog that here follows is my countdown.

35

tie visitors

it's really late so i'll make this short.

anyone from tie who visits here, please be sure to go and read the latest update on our blog, save the trees, please. i need feedback on what i wrote because it concerns our next meeting. i need to hear from all of you guys before then so please, please, please go there. i think i'll need to call you guys as well so if i don't see anyone's reply on monday, expect to be contacted before tuesday by me.







man, i need a secretary! lol